It must be time for another silly newsletter – in fact it’s overdue. We usually write to you in the Spring with amazing deals and incentives to try to get you to order JUST SOMETHING to keep the staff (some of whom are orphans) fed after the long hard winter.
This year, we’ve not had to because we’re busy – we’ve actually got a bit of a waiting list for our WIRELESS lit dance floors. We are having great success both with the twinkling floor (works a bit like scalextric track with 40v going from panel to panel with no wiring loom as you lay the panels) and with the folding bars which now double as disco desks, reception counters and trade show tables, with or without the NEW colour changing remote controlled Lit Perspex fronts.
We have also expanded our bar products and have added a removable lockable security panel for an additional charge of £75.00. For ease of transportation we now manufacture a lower bar counter measuring 995mm high, for the same price, which when slotted on the wheeled base (2 brakes and 2 swivel) for an additional £90.00 brings the height to the same as our original counters which measure 1125mm high.
Other additions include improved LED front lighting strip, speed rail and fitted ice bucket.
This year’s bargain buy is a container full of ALUMINIUM gilt stacking chairs that look identical to the Cheltenham. They’re Chinese (if you can’t beat them, you have to join them) and indoor/outdoor, look very classy and we’re selling them at £25 each plus VAT including the (velcro’d) seat pad – choice of colour available (Normal price is £32 plus seat pad, so this is a bargain not to be missed). We’re powder coating them, and whilst burnt gold is the most popular colour, if you order 50 or more, you can choose your frame colour – white and black look really good, and even pink for poofter’s partys. Hurry – when they’re gone, they’re gone.
Don’t forget to look at our new hook together low profile tent grid floor. Only £20 per sq m in galvanized steel (heavy), or £30 sq m in aluminium. It doesn’t require special floor boards, simply use your old Weblok or Joe’s tent floor on top. We provide the infill’s to ensure your boards fit and fix to the metric tent sizes, and the base plates to take any tent manufacturer’s legs. As an opening incentive, we’re offering the aluminium grid floor with a SEALED (varnished) interlocking tent floor top (which can be used on its own, directly onto grass as a dance floor) at only £40 per sq m complete (that’s less than £1 per sq ft for the top interlocking plywood floor.) See the pictures on the web – most taken recently as we supplied Derby County Cricket Club with the grid and flooring under a Crocker’s structure for the new hospitality complex.
We are in the process of prototyping our new WPC outdoor dance floor. This is the new generation of flooring made from a mix of PVC and wood fibre. It is incredibly strong, obviously weather and waterproof, and looks and works like wood. We are extruding it ourselves, and will make dance floor panels with a range of colour choices which can lay indoors or out, and will span rough ground without the need for packing. We will produce larger panels for tent floor, roadways, walkways and metric panels which will fit our Grid system with an antislip finish, and decking panels for home and garden use.
Despite the increase in material and fuel costs, our usual bargain prices haven’t increased for floors or furniture or carpets – and only a small increase in stage and bar prices. Full prices are on our web pages www.grumpyjoe.co.uk (the family have finally agreed it’s a brand name and may be getting known). We still offer quantity discounts on the tent boarded and sealed floors, without compromising the quality of the Far Eastern plywood we insist on. If you want a cheap floor that won’t last, we can beat anyone’s price with Chinese plywood, but the top hardwood veneer is paper thin, and there are often core gaps, and we wouldn’t recommend it.
I want to thank you all for supporting us and allowing us to get the family business back to about where it was – now employing twenty staff, including nine family members. It’s been a hard, uphill struggle to start again with nothing at 70 years old, but as the saying goes, ‘What goes around, comes around! You may have heard more of the disgraceful saga of Portable Floormaker Ltd going bankrupt again last summer, owing more than £300,000, with no suppliers getting a penny (again). Many of you will no doubt know about the fraudulent double invoice factoring – some are still trying to prove to the finance companies that they paid for their goods on delivery. Despite negotiating a deal with the administrator and shaking hands on buying back my old company, and the trade names of the floors I invented, for £75,000, my son Michael and our American distributor gazumped my offer, and the mob from Chicago now own my original family business. They are competing with me as Knoxford, trading as Portable Floormaker and have now brought their prices down to match mine – but beware – they will creep them back up, and you will be making a rich American even richer. No wonder I’m GRUMPY! We don’t juggle prices and have worked on good quality, high volumes and consistently low margins for many years.
We’ll be on our usual pitch at the Showman’s Show at Newbury in October. Hope to see you there for a drink, a burger and a chat. All the best for the rest of the season,
P.S. Does anyone want to buy a good mobile toilet trailer (Three female cubicles, one male and a urinal) for the knock down price of £1500? Its ready to go on hire or on a site, and if your flush, you can view at your own convenience. We can deliver at cost if required.
P.P.S. We also have a job lot of 106 second hand Sico panels along with three trolleys and 74 pieces of wide gold edging available for the great price of £2500.00. These can be resealed for an additional charge.
P.P.P.S. We also have available for immediate delivery 3 – 16’ x 16’ Parquet TENT dance floors (4’ X 2’ and 2’ X 2’ panels with timber battens) complete with edging in a trolley for £1600.00.